Back of Her Mind
by AkaneAlways
Summary: Akane has been thinking about her friends and her relationships and if all is what it seems


Disclaimer: I have no money and own nothing. 

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Back of Her Mind

Usually when she thought of something bad, there was always something in the back of her mind spewing the positive. Even if she chose to ignore it, it was always there to comfort her. Recently she's been thinking about herself and her relationships. How many of the people that she calls friends return the favor. How many of these people really like her, and how many are just putting up with her as not to hurt her. Luckily there was always that voice in the back of her mind that told her she was just paranoid and that all the people that she cared for, cared for her as well. As long as that voice was there, she would be fine. Unfortunately, upcoming events would silence that voice.

"How dare you say that to me!"

"Well it's true Akane!"

"How can you even say that! And I thought that you were my friend!" Ranma was just getting back from the lunchroom to witness the fight between Akane and Yuka. 

"Well, friends are supposed to be truthful, and that was the truth!"

"That wasn't truthful Yuka. It was spiteful. You know it isn't my fault Daisuke broke up with you!" The other girl's face was filled with shock.

"I never said that he broke up with me because of YOU! I said he broke up with me because he thinks he has a chance with you. You're engaged Akane, wear a ring or something!" Akane turned red and looked like she had hit her boiling point.

"First of all, I was saying no to Daisuke way before Ranma came along, so my attitude towards my engagement doesn't matter. Secondly, I don't have to wear a ring because I am not engaged! My father set it up and my fiancée hates me!" Akane quickly added to her statement. 

"And I hate him!" Akane turned away from Yuka and started heading for the door. 

"If you were really my friend you wouldn't even accuse me of such a thing Yuka." And, with that, Akane left the room. 

Ranma weighed his options. Follow Akane, or beat the living daylights out of Daisuke for even thinking about Akane. He came to the conclusion that it would be best to tend to Akane now, help calm her down. Besides, Daisuke would still be there tomorrow. Ranma ran out of the class after Akane.

She pushed open the door at the top of the staircase and ran out onto the roof. It was a little chilly that day so no one was up there except her. She approached the edge of the roof and looked over the grounds. There were only a few people outside, couples mostly. They were keeping each other warm and, even from a distance, they looked happy. Akane turned away from the sight, and sat down. She was leaning against the railing when she heard the door open knowing who it was. 

"Go away Ranma. I'm not in the mood." Ranma stood in front of her noticing her downcast look. 

"What was that fight all about?" Ranma sat down next to Akane and Akane turned away from him. 

"What does it matter? It's not like she was my friend or anything. This was a long time coming. It was just a matter of time." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Akane turned back towards Ranma. 

"Ranma, have you ever thought that maybe some people who you feel deeply for, don't really care about you at all?" Ranma blushed and nodded his head. 

"Well, I don't know. Recently all these things have been happening and I just think that…all of my friends, they're not my friends. I can't really explain it. It's kind of like they all seem so different when they hang out together and when I come up, all the fun seems to evaporate. They'll also leave me at the drop of a hat to go talk with other people. It's not that I care though, if they don't want to be my friends then I don't really want to be their friends either, but still…why would they even bother to even pretend." 

Akane looked towards her hands. She didn't want to make eye contact with Ranma because she knew that would let the flood gates loose.

"Before I only though it of a few of my friends, but after the fights I've been having with Yuka and Sayuri and the other girls in class…I don't know. Then there was the thing today…I don't know Ranma. I just feel as though I've been betrayed some how. I can't stand it. And if these people who I considered friends don't really like me then…then what about the people who I…I…I just don't know what I'd do." Much to her dismay the tears came. Akane was ready to get up and leave when she felt a callused hand grasp her own. 

Ranma knew what Akane was saying. There were times when he wondered if his martial arts skills weren't a factor in his relationships, but it never really bothered him. He always knew that there was someone who cared about him. There had to be, and with that Ranma was able to go without worry. Although now he felt guilty, the person whom he cared for the most felt as though no one truly liked her. Ranma hated himself for this. He had always pictured Akane as the person who cared mostly for him. True, he didn't know for sure if she loved him, or even liked him, but he did know that she felt for him, and that was all he needed to continue. 

Ranma grabbed Akane's hand, sensing that she wanted to leave. She looked towards their hands and then at his eyes. He looked at her red, puffy eyes and had to suppress a laugh. Even in this state he found her highly attractive, maybe even more so because of her vulnerability. 

"Akane, I want you to know that, no matter what I say or do, I care about you. I'm not just faking it and it's not just habit. So, no matter what, just know that you always have me. Ok, Akane?" Akane blinked a few times out of shock. Then she smiled as a few more tears escaped her eyes. 

"Ranma. You're just saying that to make me feel better, aren't you?" Ranma was shocked at first and was about to tell Akane that he wasn't when he heard it. She began to laugh. And Ranma , realizing that Akane was joking, began to laugh with her. 

Akane still heard the voice inside of her head. The loud one that told her all of her fears were coming true and the soft one that told her she'd be ok. But there was a new voice now. It was Ranma's voice. It wasn't especially loud or quiet. It was just there, like white noise and it echoed the only words she needed to hear. 

"No matter what, just know that you have me."

AN: I really didn't want to write this. I didn't know if I would be able to express everything that I wanted. Um… well first of all, when I said that Akane heard voices, I didn't mean actual voices, but the ones that float around in our heads…if that makes sense at all. Also, this is based on semi-true events. I've been having a little bit of a crisis of friends lately…they all seem to hate me at the moment and so I wrote this to get it off of my chest. I gave Akane a happy ending though, I have no Ranma…oh well. This is probably pretty bad and I'd re-read it, but I wrote it to forget about things. So, please keep in mind that I was in an "emotional state" when I wrote this and while that's no excuse for poor writing, I'd really appreciate it if you tool it into consideration when reviewing. Thanks! 


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